I’m not a bad person, I’m just ill.

mood swings ahead

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I have to remind myself every single day that I’m not a bad person, I’m just ill.

And sometimes, I’m not too sure.

Because I can be a difficult person more often than not. I can regulate my emotions as well as a toddler which.. you know, isn’t very well. I can obsess over the smallest things. I have an excellent emotional memory which isn’t so excellent for whoever is on the receiving end. I will get hurt and offended by the tiniest things. And I argue. A lot. And it is tiring, not just for me but for my partner or whoever is on the receiving end.

I once read that those with BPD are more likely to go into relationships as either the abusee or the abuser. And… it absolutely terrifies me that I am the abuser in this relationship or that I will become one.

I don’t…

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